Today I was going to write an entry entitled “Whatever Happened to MC Skat Kat?” I turned on the TV and sat down to write, and suddenly everything got pre-empted by a presidential news conference. Normally I would just flip the channels until I found a Sister Sister rerun, and continue to focus on figuring out if and how Paula Abdul fucked a cartoon. But since I’ve been ranting about people ingoring the news recently, I figured I sort of had to watch it.
President Bush was talking about the North Korean nuclear tests earlier this week. Apparently our position is that North Korea should face “serious reprocussions” if they continue the tests. That sounds like something my friend Lindsay’s mom would have said when she found Lindsay drunk and passed out on someone’s dick in high school. “Serious Reprocussions”? Come on. North Korea is obviously “acting out”, and needs a lot more structure that it’s currently getting. I mean, President Kim Jong-il has said that North Korea is “open to both dialogue and confrontation.” What?! Uh, in other words, “yeah, we’ll talk to you. We’ll also fucking bomb you. You pick, motherfucker.”
Yeah, I tested the shit out of that nuclear device. High five me, China.
So THOSE guys are getting stern finger shaking. But Iraq — the place with infamously ZERO nuclear warheads — gets a horrible, messy, ongoing war. The press quickly turned the focus to the Iraq war, and Bush started throwing out the idea that if we ended that war and left then “they’ll follow us back here”. He kept saying that — “They’ll follow us back here!” What? Who? The adorable stray dogs of Iraq? Who is they? The people that are desperately trying to get us the fuck out of their country? “They” are more likely to try to attack us here while we’re at war with them. If we stop being at WAR with them, they won’t NEED to come here. They’ll have their own loving forever-home.
He followed my trail of Falafel.
Bush also kept saying that it would be foolish to leave Iraq before we “win.” Ok, well, we got Saddam, destroyed the goverment and killed or captured 50,000 insurgents. So…what else do you need? A medal? Is there a golden statue somewhere that we need to capture and bring back to our base? Have we still not beaten Goro? Because, I think we won already. Let’s just consider ourselves winners, and go ahead on home. Right? Yay! We won! Let’s go! Problem solved!
Sadly, none of this answers my main question–
It really is a doomed relationship, I mean come on, he likes movies and she likes TV!
You didn’t hear? Mc Skat Kat is going to be a guest judge on the newest season of American Idol.