Inside the mind of a comedian

The greatest tool any comedian has is his or her little book. It’s the little notebook/wad of papers that we carry around so we can write down ideas when they hit. No one can possibly be funny at a specific time every day, and no one can stop everything they’re doing to write up a whole bit/story/script every time an idea hits. So instead, we scribble these ideas, and then when we sit down to write we have funny stuff to work with. Or sometimes, when we sit down we have a bunch of crazy shit to try to decipher. Here’s some of what I’ve got written in mine:

• No dumps in the shower
• Surf/shark girl lipgloss
• Douchebag Jingle writers
• Zoos
• “dangerous guys” — like old band-aids and unwrapped halloween candy
• subway crazy jesus fight
• co-ed bachelorette parties are lame
• Arsenio Hall show only lasted 3 years — WHAT?!? [Ed note — it actually lasted 5.]
• Gives a pen to a kid, says “you don’t even have to give it back, kiddo!” Mouths “germs” at me.
• Clown outbreak (like zombies)
• Song: head or genitals?
• Vanishing cream
• Cattitude — sad
• ‘Ghost Tour’ hipster tourguide
• Garden sluts