I spend a lot of time worrying about what would pull me out of a coma. You know the scene — hospital room, loved ones all around, heart monitors beeping, people stoically weeping. Then the hospital choir starts singing “Hark The Herald Angels Sing” or the mother starts reading from the bible — whatever is most heart warming and inspirational to the coma victim — and suddenly her eyes flutter open!
For me, though, I fear that the thing that would wake me would be stupid and embarrassing. I’ll be pulled back to consciousness by something like this:
- Orderlies graphically describing their own testicles.
- “Kokomo” by the Beach Boys.
- The words “steak sandwich” whispered in my ear.
- The scent of Windex or my own socks.
- A visit from Richard Marx, AFTER Michelle Obama has already come and gone.
- Someone professing their love for “Meliza Spinner”.
- ABC’s Cougartown
- A particularly nuanced fart.
- A regular fart.
- The phrase “we’re all going to Bojangles for chicken and biscuits.”
“you’ll never guess who sharing a room next door, Robert Downey Jr. & Johnny Depp. I had to leave because it was sponge bath time.”
Jack Donaghy to Liz Lemon: “What a surprise, your worldview is food-based.”
“You just won tickets to a live stage show of The Wiggles.”
Bojangles…mmmmmmm
I think if Richard Marx were to awaken me from a coma, it would look exactly like that album cover, at least initially.
Meliza is cute though.