(I am writing this to stave off another post about Tyler Perry. I could probably write about Tyler Perry every single day, but then Robert Downey Jr. would get all jealous and stop making movies where he speaks to me. I will say that I rewatched Diary Of A Mad Black Woman and all it’s DVD extras with Bentley the other night, screeching “GENIUS!!!!” every five minutes. Bentley hid in a box, I assume because he is probably racist. BUT, if you STILL have not seen Diary of a Mad Black Woman or Why Did I Get Married, you are short changing yourself on life. And you’re probably racist.)
I have threatened/planned to get a tattoo for years now. It has taken a long time to wear down my mother’s panic from a “next you’ll stop wearing a bra and get raped in a van by a carnie” fervor into a dulled “what will your children say”/“when you get fat it will look melty” throb. I am also very indecisive, and have occasional bursts of horrible taste. If I had gotten the tattoos I have wanted I would currently have a Mary Jane wrapper on my ankle, an E.T. tramp stamp, the word “Shameless” across my back, and — I assume - a job at a gas station.
But now I am older and wiser, and I figure the world is ending in 3 years anyway, so it’s time to tattoo it up! Here are the ideas I am considering:
- Kittens with bows and tiny machine guns
- Purple pieman holding the severed head of Strawberry Shortcake with the words “Sic Semper Tyranus” under it
- Seagulls all over my face
- The latitude and longitude of the birthplaces of Angelina Jolie’s children
- 01110011 01101100 01110101 01110100 (Binary code for “slut”)
- Cat eyes with dancers for pupils on my shoulder blades
- Screaming half-melted ice cream cone
- The Jem Glitter and Gold roadster I never fucking got for Christmas.
- The phrase “Remember, the enemy’s gate is down.” In Klingon.
- “Xavier Roberts” signature on my ass.
- E.T. tramp stamp
Of course, all of the above would say “Tyler Perry’s _____ tattoo” above them.
I’ll post a pic when I get it finished!
Jem Glitter and Gold Roadster.
It plays tapes! This would have been a sweet Christmas gift, seriously.
Originally posted August 26, 2009
That pink windshield probably isn’t regulation.God, I wanted that car too.
Honestly and all joking aside “01110011 01101100 01110101 01110100″ would make an awesomely hot and geeky tramp stamp…
“The phrase “Remember, the enemy’s gate is down.” In Klingon” is a mixing of two scifi worlds, I don’t think that would be acceptable… the real question is, “could ender and his army beat the klingons?” I mean, borg, sure — he can beat the collective mind, but warriors…
On a similar note, I watched “moonraker” the other night and they were fighting in space and flying at each other straight on, dumb.
Kittens with bows and tiny machine guns: I want this drawn and put on the interwebs. Sheer awesomeness
Ender’s Game reference? In Klingon? The most awesomest dorkiest thing ever. You are adorable.
Ooh, Chad and Derek are going to FIGHT! Hopefully while riding sandworms.
E.T. Tramp Stamp. But it’d have to be just his face, or else it wouldn’t fit right. Or his hand.
So like,
(* _ *)
or
===@))^*
http://23.media.tumblr.com/9cyPFQbgComx5zceO1WgLetUo1_500.jpg
http://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/story/downey-jr-tattoos-himself-onto-his-body
binary code. get it wrapped around your arm, or down your ribcage onto your hip.
I had a friend who got tiny Spades, Clubs, Diamonds and Hearts on her ear lobes. I think they’re pretty cool.
My friend told me about your blog.… it’s bookmarked now
Brad -
There was no photo, but I am praying that that story is true. RDJ = balls out awesome 24/7
Chad, why wouldn’t it be acceptable? Mixing things up is good! Ice packs and hot pads! IT WORKS!
Moreover, I find your question about Ender’s ability to defeat the Klingons pedantic and pedestrian (what do those words mean??). Ender beat an entire freaking species.… without knowing it! And those Bat’leth’s the Klingon’s use would be useless in zero g combat, so Ender would have a clear advantage in that area.
**at this point I realized I was going from mildly amusing to complete dork out. I pulled myself back from the abyss just in time. For a full dork rant, you have but to ask*
Eliza, seriously stop with adorable dorky references. It is far to endearing. You are rapidly approaching the adorableness of the girl who covered the hall and oates song rich girl on the ukulele.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZoqsfFGGPY&feature=PlayList&p=9A26DE6443A11505
As much as I love Ender’s Game, Klingon is just not an attractive language written out. It’d look like a tribal tattoo gone bad.
As for Ender’s Dragons vs. a Klingon army … remember when Worf had to go outside the Enterprise-E with Picard in First Contact? (Don’t lie, you remember.) He said the zero-g training at the Academy made him ill. And how’d they kill Gorkon in ST:VI? They disabled the artificial gravity.
No contest.
The severed Strawberry Shortcake head is probably your best bet. It immediately made me think of Robot Chicken. But I love 80s cartoons, politics, and the occasional severed head, so I may be biased. You could do it as a tramp stamp with ET’s finger poking the blood if you want to kill two birds with one stone.
The Cabbage Patch one might be cool, too, but harder to show off at parties. (Well, I guess not more difficult … maybe more awkward depending on your preferences regarding your ass cheek.)
If you end up getting something you despise … just get this over it : https://www.wowtattoos.com/tattoos/designs/ambigrams/Deviant/Shit-Happens-style-L-ambigram-tattoo-design.html
lol …
I just got “The Enemy’s Gate is Down” tattooed on my right foot so i vote for that one, besides my I have not seen any Ender tattoos