Dear hipster parents,
If you allow your diapered 2-year-old to grab microphones and “help” during a comedy or music show, you are ignoring the fact that the performers and the audience -no matter what polite things they may say to your face — hate you, and your children. I don’t come to their hippy-ass montesori schools and knock the paint out of their hands, so keep them off my stage until they can put pants on and tell a joke with an actual punchline.
And by the way, if — while your monster baby is beating the floor with the microphone — you repeatedly assure everyone that he wants to be a comedian or musician when he grows up, you are just as deluded as the pageant mom who thinks her 3-month-old wants to be Little Miss Cotton Queen Supreme. YOU want it. The kid wants to eat sugar and pick apart his poop.
Thanks,
Eliza
Amazing!
So glad you’re blogging regularly again; without you, my life is a lie.
I get this sneaking suspicion… This post is based on some form of actual occurrence…
Call me crazy (or psychic if you wish, although I’ll laugh if someone actually does)… But I’m guessing this happened, pretty much as described, to you, very recently…
Am I right? Do I win a prize? Is it a cookie?… I’ll shut up now…
Just read your cracked article, but had to see this too.
Of this a approve, keep up the awesome blog